Sure, we are born into the world with some pre-built hardware in our heads. Hardware that is set up to potentially thrive with endless possibilities. Hardware that can help us understand logic, express our emotions, make everyday decisions, change our perspectives, and control ourselves from really letting it out on the person in front of us taking way too long to order their morning coffee.
As the early years of development are now better understood, we continue to be astounded by the role of early interactions on the rapidly growing child brain. Although our genes allow for this pre-built hardware to be somewhat functional, research continues to show that most often, it is our environment that determines the quality of software that will allow all the parts to work together beautifully!
What is this “environment”? Incredibly, during the first few years of life, environment is mostly determined by the nature and quality of the interactions we have with the people most important to us. Each synchronized moment that kiddos share with their caregivers, fills up their little jar of self-worth, self-confidence, and desire to explore this intriguing world just a little bit more. Synchronized moments tend to more often come out of true quality time; moments during which caregivers are fully attuned to their little ones—during which they actively SEE the children as they are in that moment—and during which the little ones can truly FEEL the emotional presence of their caregiver.
Sounds easy enough, right? Well, today we are busier than ever…and we can easily get caught up in the day-to-day tasks—often by simply functioning on “autopilot.” Although this mental state does help us kind of survive (i.e. it allows us to mindlessly drive to the grocery store while we are calling to schedule a doctor’s appointment, instead of consciously thinking about each turn and stop we need to make along the way), living on autopilot too often can have detrimental effects on our child’s developing brain.
Instead, we may find that we need to intentionally set up special times for bonding during which we are solely focused on connecting with our little ones without distraction; one where we provide an environment balanced with stimulation, learning, and comfort—`cause this is where the software-linking happens!
As a child therapist and parenting coach,
I’m here to help you see the world through your child’s lens so you can parent to their needs.
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